It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold; when it is summer in the light and winter in the shade. ~ Charles Dickens
March is a significant month for me. It reminds me of gratitude towards two important events: The celebrations of Life, and Love.
Celebration of Life. This is the month that I welcome my birth anniversary. The month that I truly appreciate God’s blessing for giving me another year to live. March as special as it is for me, the year 2017 makes it more special as I am about to enter the stage of middle adulthood, so they say.
At the beginning of this year, I started reading articles about middle age life (or mal, if I have to give it an acronym) to reconcile my thoughts of what it is all about, when does it really begin and end, or does it. While it is define as the age that starts at 40 or 45, and ends at the age of 60, 64 or 65, some experts say that these numbers are but numeric, and mal is just a state of mind. Regardless of this conflicting definitions in terms of numbers, mal only mean but one thing, it means middle adulthood. In other words, the life span of mal is the beginning of early adulthood and old age. According to health experts, this is the period that you experience changes in your physical and mental characteristics affecting your psychosocial behaviour. Mal’s transition period may affect both men and women and often lead to midlife crises. However, not everyone may experience this inevitable midlife transition crisis because not everyone who, while assessing their life, has resentments, regrets, frustrations, disappointments coupled with the reality of mortality as they age, not to mention loss in the family or loved ones, such as death, divorce, etc. while going through the transition.
In my personal definition, middle age life is but a state of mind. And numerically for me, it should start at 46 and ends at 59. My own deviation is based on how I project and approach my life starting two decades ago. Flashback when I was 25 years old, I started planning for a year until I turned 26, and tried to accomplish my short term goal of five years. Then, I would start again at 30 and adopt the same five year short term goal. But last year, my short-term goal has been changed to a 15 year long term goal considering the stage of middle age life. This is why 2017 makes it more special in a way. When I turned 45 last year, I started planning for mal, reflecting on my blessings and evaluating on what I have achieved so far (note: achievements are subjective), assessing what I have contributed to this beautiful world as a vegan, and planning for the next 15 years. This year, as I am about to turn 46, I am inclined to believe that my mal starts on March 20, my birthday, and that I must embrace the aging process with wisdom.
Celebration of Love. March is also the month that I deeply value the true meaning of commitment because this is the month that also reminds me of my wedding anniversary. The month and day (also falls on my birthday) that I tied the knot with the man who has taught me the genuine definition of Love.
Love, as elusive as it may seem is perhaps the most engaging topics of all times. But what really is the true definition of Love? Does love find you or do you have to find it? When does love start and when does it stay? Does love die or does it just leave? I am not a love guru but I will share with you my experience about love since I am celebrating my wedding anniversary this month.
Way back in 2008, I was assigned in Vanuatu, South Pacific as a volunteer. And no, I was not there looking for love, I was sent there to do volunteering work. I was 37 years old and met a man 9 years younger than me. I was given the chance to celebrate love and to stand the tests of time given our cultural differences, nationality, family background, education, and age. Fast forward, we are now married for seven years (technically eight). Indeed, love stayed and endured.
The true definition of love is Love. You do not look for love because love is within you. Love starts when you nurture it and it chooses to stay only if it is growing. If love does not grow, it does not die neither does it leave, it will just stay where it belongs. It belongs and stays within you, waiting for the time for you to nourish it so it can grow again. Indeed, love does not choose the person, place, time, and age because love is love.
Oh March! You are a constant reminder of life and love!